So today I had a really horrible, emotional day. I cannot even blame it on the weather...it was nice and sunny and not too cold/hot. My DH was home for the weekend and we had "words". I hate fighting with the hubby...nothing good ever comes out of it. We have been super stressed lately regarding our living separately until the school year is over, the upcoming move out of town, kids, money, kids, housework, kids, and did I say kids! We have 3 girls that can all be very sweet and very NOT! Lately we have been dealing with a Bi-polar child and that in itself is difficult, throw in a 6yr old sassy pants and a 16yr old drama queen and you can just imagine our house! Well, it finally hit me today and I was really rather ugly. I said some mean things that could have been said in a much nicer way and for that I am sorry. I was so full of emotions and struggled with finding the right way and words to get it out...obviously I didn't do it well. The hubby is in another room ignoring me :( I am sure we will get over it, we have been together almost 20 years, but I still don't like the strained atmosphere.
I have been feeling fair to poor lately. The weather has been doing funny things lately and with that...my body has been too. I have had lots of additional emotional stress and it is taking a toll on my body. I cannot imagine that 1 year ago I was going through all this and working! There is no way that would work now. My day consists of taking girls to school, coming home and sleeping(trying to), picking girls up, trying to help with homework, trying to either cook or supervise the cooking of dinner, supervising bath time, bed time and than trying to get comfortable enough to go to sleep so I can start it all over again. Whew...wears me out just typing it! Oh and of course you cannot forget all the drama 3 girls bring into the house daily from school/friends!
Maybe I need to make an appointment with the doc and see about changing my depression meds...the Celexa is not working as well as the Cymbalta did. But with having no insurance right now that's easier said than done! Plus the Cymbalta is 3-4 times the amount of $ that I can get the generic Celexa for. I am kind of in a holding pattern right now until I can sign up for health care. Since I am uninsurable, I have to sign up for something called Access TN for people who cannot get health insurance the regular way due to their health. The problem is you have to wait 6 months without insurance before you can do this...so stupid! So I can send my application in at the end of April, than hopefully once I get it I can have a good appointment with the doc before we move and try and get some of these meds figured out.
(((Soft Hugs)))
Showing posts with label Lupus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lupus. Show all posts
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Just Another Day In Lupie Land!
Well, as you can tell by the time stamp on this post it is early in the am on Saturday. I am still up since I didn't make it into bed by 10pm. It is so weird, I can sleep anytime during the day, all I have to do is sit still for a moment and I am out. Yet, I have such difficulty sleeping in the evening.
So, my family is in bed and my DH has recently put Netflix on our Wii, so I start flipping through movies. I came across this one in the "Emotional Drama based on a real life" section. Sounds like a good chick flick to me! So I pick this one called, 'What Makes A Family'. Seems to be off of the "B" list since I have never heard of it before. It has Dean McDermott (yum), Brooke Shields & Whoopi Goldberg in it. It's from 2001, so not too far back. So I start watching it and realize about 15 min into the movie it is about "alternative lifestyles". Well, okay I really don't have an opinion on that, other than it's not right for me.....so anyway, Brooke Shields character's partner comes down sick after delivering their baby. You will never guess what it was! LUPUS!!! Holy smokes! So of course I have to finish the movie! At first I was excited to see it played out on TV, than I was mad because it almost seemed exaggerated a bit. The next emotion was worry, sadness...hoping that my disease would not progress as hers did. It showed how she was trying to come to terms with not only the disease, but the medications & their effects, financial strain, relationship strain and some of the problems I have everyday with parenting a small child while having Lupus. Bravo! I hope to see more in future about this disease, maybe than we can get some more funding for research for a cure!
So today was pretty quiet for this Lupie. I got up early this morning before everyone else and had some toast and read for a little bit before the little ones got up. It was nice, but only lasted about 10 minutes! The girls and I stayed inside today as it was HOT and HUMID...not good for me. My DH came home and we (he loaded I supervised) loaded things up for a garage sale in the morning at my Mom's house. Luckily my DH understands that 7am and sun doesn't work well for me, so he is going to be a dear and do the garage sale with the kiddo's. I am going to get some much needed rest :)
I have been reading a great book on Adrenal Fatigue and in the book it has many great suggestions for not only supplements, which I take and highly recommend, but it also talks about certain foods to avoid and include in your diet. So, I AM ADDICTED TO DIET PEPSI....there I said it! My cells float in Diet Pepsi/Coke, I am not too picky as long as it has ice and it's cold! I have never been much of a water drinker, so I wake up and grab a soda and drink it all day long. I have recently switched to no caffeine, hoping to help with my sleeping problem! Unfortunately cutting out the caffeine so quickly I have been dealing with a horrible headache. Ice packs seem to help a little :)
We got the news that we will be moving at the end of the month....days before we leave for the beach! I hear a flare coming on! I am going to try and pace myself and except help getting this house packed and ready for the guys to move. Before Lupus started dictating most of my life, I used to be able to pack up a house and have it all organized in a day, no I did not grow up in the military, just picky! I know I will have to not be such a control freak, just sit back and pray nothing gets left or broken. Oh well, they are just things!
Oh, the local SS office called today and asked a few more questions. He said that my application was very thorough and that he would be sending it to the "decision makers" today. I am not going to get too excited, I am almost expecting to be turned down, most people do. I have spoken with a great attorney before I even filed and he said to just file and if they turn me down to come on in and we will compile a case. I so dislike this....trying to have a Lupie remember dates, times, all these things just make me more confused...help I am lost in a Lupie fog!
Well it's time for this Lupie to try to get some sleep. Not much done today, just another day but I am alive and surviving!
So, my family is in bed and my DH has recently put Netflix on our Wii, so I start flipping through movies. I came across this one in the "Emotional Drama based on a real life" section. Sounds like a good chick flick to me! So I pick this one called, 'What Makes A Family'. Seems to be off of the "B" list since I have never heard of it before. It has Dean McDermott (yum), Brooke Shields & Whoopi Goldberg in it. It's from 2001, so not too far back. So I start watching it and realize about 15 min into the movie it is about "alternative lifestyles". Well, okay I really don't have an opinion on that, other than it's not right for me.....so anyway, Brooke Shields character's partner comes down sick after delivering their baby. You will never guess what it was! LUPUS!!! Holy smokes! So of course I have to finish the movie! At first I was excited to see it played out on TV, than I was mad because it almost seemed exaggerated a bit. The next emotion was worry, sadness...hoping that my disease would not progress as hers did. It showed how she was trying to come to terms with not only the disease, but the medications & their effects, financial strain, relationship strain and some of the problems I have everyday with parenting a small child while having Lupus. Bravo! I hope to see more in future about this disease, maybe than we can get some more funding for research for a cure!
So today was pretty quiet for this Lupie. I got up early this morning before everyone else and had some toast and read for a little bit before the little ones got up. It was nice, but only lasted about 10 minutes! The girls and I stayed inside today as it was HOT and HUMID...not good for me. My DH came home and we (he loaded I supervised) loaded things up for a garage sale in the morning at my Mom's house. Luckily my DH understands that 7am and sun doesn't work well for me, so he is going to be a dear and do the garage sale with the kiddo's. I am going to get some much needed rest :)
I have been reading a great book on Adrenal Fatigue and in the book it has many great suggestions for not only supplements, which I take and highly recommend, but it also talks about certain foods to avoid and include in your diet. So, I AM ADDICTED TO DIET PEPSI....there I said it! My cells float in Diet Pepsi/Coke, I am not too picky as long as it has ice and it's cold! I have never been much of a water drinker, so I wake up and grab a soda and drink it all day long. I have recently switched to no caffeine, hoping to help with my sleeping problem! Unfortunately cutting out the caffeine so quickly I have been dealing with a horrible headache. Ice packs seem to help a little :)
We got the news that we will be moving at the end of the month....days before we leave for the beach! I hear a flare coming on! I am going to try and pace myself and except help getting this house packed and ready for the guys to move. Before Lupus started dictating most of my life, I used to be able to pack up a house and have it all organized in a day, no I did not grow up in the military, just picky! I know I will have to not be such a control freak, just sit back and pray nothing gets left or broken. Oh well, they are just things!
Oh, the local SS office called today and asked a few more questions. He said that my application was very thorough and that he would be sending it to the "decision makers" today. I am not going to get too excited, I am almost expecting to be turned down, most people do. I have spoken with a great attorney before I even filed and he said to just file and if they turn me down to come on in and we will compile a case. I so dislike this....trying to have a Lupie remember dates, times, all these things just make me more confused...help I am lost in a Lupie fog!
Well it's time for this Lupie to try to get some sleep. Not much done today, just another day but I am alive and surviving!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
